So Good

All the anxiety leading up to this morning was unneeded. At mile 14 I had not had to push myself once, it was coming so naturally, like I was doing exactly what I should be, I kept thinking, I can't wait to blog this. At mile 17 I was thinking, there is no way...no way, I'm done, that's it. My clothes were so heavy with sweat that by the end of it I had taken my shirt off and left it on a post (which reminds me that I need to go back and get it). That was a mistake because my shorts started to sag and I kept having to pull them up to make sure that I wasn't exposing myself to anyone. At mile 16 I popped a butterscotch that I had packed away in my short pouch, I wasn't hungry at all or even feeling anything but dehydration but it was nice to get the nasty dry taste out of my mouth and a good distraction. I feel so good though. I think that I'm going to take a nap, maybe go to the movies, just relax a bit, and then tonight is P90X legs, back and abs. I think my legs can handle it, which is surprising. I leave you with this thought "nothing ventured, nothing gained", LJ

Great Expectations

I've been thinking about Lindsey's email (the one where she quoted MJ as saying, "You have to expect things of yourself before you can do them."), and I must say that I have always thought of myself as a goal setter...one who has a list and checks things off...a bit OCD if you will. In fact, a friend of mine asked me how in the world I became involved with this 1/2 marathon (I'm new to the running scene) and I said, "My sister asked me to and I said 'yes'" To which he replied, "You mean, 'she threw down the guantlet and you couldn't resist'." Knowing full well that I am always up for a challenge, he saw it as one more "check" on my list of things.

But, it hit me the other day that my "list of things" has become so focused on others' expectations of me, or my expectations of others that I haven't really expected much of myself lately. I don't want this run to be another one of my "checks." I want to expect great things and achieve them. Last Saturday, Robin and I ran for 50 minutes. That's the longest I've ever run without stopping. And, I can tell you with full confidence that my 5-miler this coming Saturday doesn't seem near as daunting!

I lost my grandfather this morning. He was a kind and loving man. Generous, with an amazing sense of humor. Always dressed to the nines and oh-so handsome. A God-fearing soul and a hard-working man. A soldier. A leader. Faithful to his family. Ever ready to share a joke and hearty laugh. Someone with great expectations. After helping my aunts write some of his obituary, I started thinking...what will mine look like? Will it read, "someone with a constant list of chores to cross off"? or "godly woman with great expectations"? I hope the latter. A-train

"Always remember that striving and struggle precede success, even in the dictionary." - Sarah Ban Breathnach

Needed it

“The difference between a successful person and others is not a lack of strength, not a lack of knowledge, but rather a lack of will.”-Vince Lombardi.....I really needed this today. I've been feeling rather nervous about my long run this weekend, but the truth is, my body is capable, I just need to put forth the will power. If I can go to a wedding and not eat cake, then I can run 18 miles, because resisting cake is a much more difficult for me.
I've been doing the P90X for a full week now and even though I'm really tired, I feel strong. At the end of a run my form is staying more consistent, and I think that once I get used to the extra hours of working out then my running is going to improve that much more. I'm going to do six today..mile one for my mom (because she started with me), two is for Amanda (because she married one of my two brothers), 3 rebecca (3kids), 4 Melinda (married to the 4th Lear brother), 5 Lori (she did 5 events in high school track), and 6 for Sarah because that's where I attack my run. Thinking of you all! LJ